I'm trying to be done with all the tears over people. I'm sitting here listening to Three Cheers for Five Years, and this song always makes me think.

So here I am...thinking... and here's what I've concluded.


I can't keep living like this, I feel like I'm stuck in the past and I don't know what's keeping me from moving forward. I have NO idea. I thought I was fine. and completely over it.. yet here, I am. I have to stay up until 2, maybe, 3 in the morning just to get sleep.. and even then, the whole time all I can think about is the way things used to be.. and .. I miss that. It's literally like a wakeing nightmare at times.

But.. I'm also strangely content. I have amazing friends. Who're always looking out for me. They can tell when I'm down, and they never hesitate to make me feel better again. Through all of this I've realized who my real, true, friends are, they're the people who never let me down. They're the people who don't criticize how long it takes to get over something. They've been throught the pain with me, and are there every step of the way. They realize when I need space, and what my quiet means. I trust them.. I don't trust as easily anymore, and I'm a diffrent person... I hate that bad situations have changed me.. but.. I feel like I'm ready for the future and all the good and bad situations it has to offer. I know I'll be ok, with my friends there. It's hard losing friends, and I don't think I'll get any of them back... but right now, I feel that's the best thing...

Well, Tonight I'm having a Birthday Sleepover with, Tai, Deviin, and Quinn. It should be fun. I have Glowsticks, pixystix, Chinese food and all the other essentials. I haven't seen them since the last day of school, yet so much has happend since then... we're all so much closer. I love these girls. I would do just about anything for them. I never want to see them hurt the way I was... am?... I give.

Well, all I can say now, is that I recommennd listening to Three Years for Five Years. It really makes me think. Don't listen to it around other people, just sit alone in a quiet room, and listen... If your life is anything like mine, you may have tears, but... sometimes it's best to cry it out.

"I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
To late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you."